Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Boredom - A Huge Part of Success

This fantastic article was recommend by a member and we wanted to share with everyone.  Please take a moment to read.

How To Stay Focused When You Get Bored Working Toward Your Goals

Oct. 3, 2013
We all have goals and dreams, but it can be difficult to stick with them.
Each week, I hear from people who say things like, “I start with good intentions, but I can’t seem to maintain my consistency for a long period of time.”

Or, they will say, “I struggle with mental endurance. I get started but I can’t seem to follow through and stay focused for very long.”

Don’t worry. I’m just as guilty of this as anyone else.

For example, I’ll start one project, work on it for a little bit, then lose focus and try something else. And then I’ll lose focus on my new goal and try something else. And on and on. When everything is said and done, I’ve stopped and started so many times that I never really made much progress.

Maybe you have felt this way too.

This problem reminds me of a lesson I learned while working out one day…

The Myth of Passion and Motivation

On this particular day in the gym, there was a coach visiting who had worked with thousands of athletes over his long career, including some nationally-ranked athletes and Olympians.
I had just finished my workout when I asked him, “What’s the difference between the best athletes and everyone else. What do the really successful people do that most people don’t?”
He briefly mentioned the things that you might expect. Genetics. Luck. Talent.
But then he said something I wasn’t expecting.

“At some point,” he said, “it comes down to who can handle the boredom of training every day and doing the same lifts over and over and over again.”

That piece of advice surprised me because it’s a different way of thinking about work ethic.
Most of the time people talk about getting motivated and “amped up” to work on their goals. Whether it’s business or sports or art, you will commonly hear people say things like, “it all comes down to having enough passion.”

As a result, I think many people get depressed when they lose focus or motivation because they think that successful people have some unstoppable passion and willpower that they seem to be missing. But that’s exactly the opposite of what this coach was saying.

Instead, he was saying that really successful people feel the same boredom and the same lack of motivation that everyone else feels. They don’t have some magic pill that makes them feel ready and inspired every day. But the difference is that the people who stick with their goals don’t let their emotions determine their actions. Top performers still find a way to show up, to work through the boredom, and to embrace the daily practice that is required to achieve their goals.

According to him, it’s this ability to do the work when it’s not easy that separates the top performers from everyone else. That’s the difference between professionals and amateurs.

Working When Work Isn’t Easy

Anyone can work hard when they feel motivated.
When I was an athlete, I loved going to practice the week after a big win. Who wouldn’t? Your coach is happy, your teammates are pumped up, and you feel like you can beat anyone. As an entrepreneur, I love working when customers are rolling in and things are going well. Getting results has a way of propelling you forward.

But what about when you’re bored? What about when the work isn’t easy? What about when it feels like nobody is paying attention or you’re not getting the results you want?
Are you willing to work through 10 years of silence?

It’s the ability to work when work isn’t easy that makes the difference.

It’s Not the Event, It’s the Process

All too often, we think our goals are all about the result. We see success as an event that can be achieved and completed.
Here are some common examples…
  • Many people see health as an event: “If I just lose 20 pounds, then I’ll be in shape.”
  • Many people see entrepreneurship as an event: “If we could get our business featured in the New York Times, then we’d be set.”
  • Many people see art as an event: “If I could just get my work featured in a bigger gallery, then I’d have the credibility I need.”
Those are just a few of the many ways that we categorize success as a single event.
But if you look at the people who are consistently achieving their goals, you start to realize that it’s not the events or the results that make them different. It’s their commitment to the process. They fall in love with the daily practice, not the individual event.

What’s funny, of course, is that this focus on the process is what will allow you to enjoy the results anyway…

If you want to be a great writer, then having a best-selling book is wonderful. But the only way to reach that result is to fall in love with the process of writing.

If you want the world to know about your business, then it would be great to be featured in Forbes magazine. But the only way to reach that result is to fall in love with the process of marketing.

If you want to be in the best shape of your life, then losing 20 pounds might be necessary. But the only way to reach that result is to fall in love with the process of eating healthy and exercising consistently.

If you want to become significantly better at anything, you have to fall in love with the process of doing it. You have to fall in love with building the identity of someone who does the work, rather than merely dreaming about the results that you want.

In other words…
Fall in love with boredom. Fall in love with repetition and practice. Fall in love with the process of what you do and let the results take care of themselves. TC mark

This article originally appeared on JamesClear.com.

(http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/how-to-stay-focused-when-you-get-bored-working-toward-your-goals/) 

Friday, 17 February 2012

Conscious Hockey Mom - What do Sons Learn from Their Mothers?

What sons learn from their mothers is invaluable to their development.  The love of a healthy stable mother makes boys stronger emotionally and psychologically.  Statistics have proven that boys with a strong mother influence do better in the world.  They have more courage and a stronger self of self esteem and self confidence.  Self respect and confidence are vital to every child's development.

Often the bond between mother and her young son can be so strong that it is hard for either one to let go.  There has to be a balance in the relationship where healthy development is allowed.  The Mother is required to know when to let go, to balance the dynamic between supporting and stepping back.  Clinging too tightly at some point will create a power struggle if Mom  does not have clarity around the emotional development best suited for  her son. If Mom makes it all about her need to control, her need to be the most important person in his life, the need to keep him close, there will be a power struggle.

Up to the age of 11-12 your son will look to you for all his  physical, emotionally and spiritual needs.  Shockingly, this can seem to change over night.  As he enters school and sports he will have an inner drive to be independent, to try to find his own way, his own rhythm.  He will not look to you for everything anymore.  If you are not ready for this change you may try to resist it.  This is where the power struggle comes in.  There will be a day when he will seem embarrassed to have you around, to let anyone know he has a good relationship with you.  He may push you away or shut down around you.  This can be alarming for a young mother  and if you are not prepared you may try to stop him from trying to fly.
A Conscious Hockey Mother has a higher awareness of her responsibilities at every stage of development. When a Mother is aware, she does a better job!

The Conscious Hockey Mother's program will provide you with guidance and direction in achieving a perfect balance with your son and allowing a greater rapport and relationship throughout his teen years.
I look forward to sharing this valuable information with you.

Judy