Wednesday, 22 February 2012

January Newsletter - Do or Do Not

January Newsletter

Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
Carl Jung

I see so many young people out there struggling to find themselves. They struggle with confidence, consistency, communication and most importantly who they are in this crazy World.

My wife is a big fan of Cesar Milan (the Dog Whisperer) and will spend an afternoon watching the marathon of episode after episode amazed at how a dog can change his behavior because of the owner changing his. I giggle often thinking this show is not about the dogs, it is about the people. I find that the youth of today is very similar. They act as we act, they think as we think, they communicate as we do. The struggles we watch in our children, are they different from our own?

I am a firm believer that we are products of our environment. I was working with a company recently and the CEO  was telling me about some past job experiences he had, the negative atmosphere, the gossip, the complaining of employees about be over worked and underpaid. We chuckled about this because as he stated, "I had to leave, it was causing me to be the same way, it was difficult for me to go home and feel good."

In the sporting World the success or disappointment is about the belief and ultimately the actions of the group, starting with the grown ups (coaches and parents). If you watch any kind of team sport, the success they encounter is because of the culture. If they believe they are good and can compete for the Championship, most times they are in the hunt. Listen to the coach, the players, the words they use are positive and upbeat even after a loss. They have the mindset of a Champion in thinking that they can. The little engine that could? YES!

In your daily life how much are you in a bad spot? How much do you think of the negative, or engage in the gossip or complain about the situation? Over the course of the day with all of those thoughts, where do you find most of yours lead you? Now take a look at your team, do they do the same thing. Are the arguments like a broken record? Is the insanity of it happening over and over causing you to THINK poorly? The youth of today is extremely bright, they are in tune with so many things that happen around them even when it seems like they are not paying attention. They spend the majority of their time thinking of negative emotions (doubting themselves, fearful of speaking the truth, unable to be who they really want to be) and it is all because of their environments. School, locker room, home all contribute to their actions. We understand so little about how to get out of the box we spend so much time in. The more we do it, the more we fear trying to escape the insanity. We have become a product of the environments we have to participate in.

Some things I have learned to help change the culture, to get out of the box, to be unique and not try to fit into a culture that spends so much time talking about all the things that are wrong:
  1. Stop reading and listening to the news. (they preach fear and doubt for that is what sells and keeps ratings)
  2. Make a list of the things you want to change-then start to THINK of what you can do to change them.
  3. Have conversations that matter. (talk about the struggles, let people know what upsets you, so they can avoid acting that way around you)
  4. Do something good for yourself on a daily basis. (don't think of all the things people don't offer to you, do them for yourself, it is your life and how you feel is YOUR responsibility)
  5. Laugh. (It truly is the best medicine, and you KNOW it)
If the dog is stressed and aggressive, you have to be the calm and dominate influence, it is the same thing for us humans, someone has got to do it, why not you?


Bob Wilkie

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Hockey Moms - A Special Breed

Hockey Mothers are a very special breed of women! I just read an interesting article quoting Sarah Palin using the term Hockey Mom as a slogan for her campaign.

It apparently signifies a different level of Strength and Endurance Commitment and Dedication!  and a special set of behaviors!

From arriving at the  arena in large trucks or vans no matter what the weather - freezing rain, snow, wet and slippery roads) they brave it all to get their kids to the good old hockey arena!

Hockey Mothers have been known to cause some quite a stir for the opposition in the form of shouts and screams and they are never far away from their noisemakers.  Its like there wild side comes out at the good old hockey arena!

They are completely adaptable!  They endure hard seating in cold arenas and never complain, they have heightened senses during the games, they remember every play, see every infraction, have a photographic memory, and she is even willing to wear team colors in order to fit in.  They are some times known as the fur-booted Madonna of the Hockey Arena.! Cute but watch out if she is upset!  She is like a Cheetah when her kid is injured or appears injured!  She will fly over the plexi-glass at record speed and pity anyone who tried to stop her.  

Then after it is all over, the ride home is either a celebration of victory or a funeral like atmosphere because of a loss.  Its hard for a hockey mom to keep her emotions in tack!  She is even bigger than her mate when it comes to a presence at the rink!

I remember my sons' coaches remarking on how they wished my sons had my aggression! I laugh now as I realize I was a strong presence and a strong influence.  Remember Mom, they are watching!

Be an inspiration with your thoughts, emotions and actions rather than an embarrassment! They will thank you later!

Friday, 17 February 2012

Conscious Hockey Mom - What do Sons Learn from Their Mothers?

What sons learn from their mothers is invaluable to their development.  The love of a healthy stable mother makes boys stronger emotionally and psychologically.  Statistics have proven that boys with a strong mother influence do better in the world.  They have more courage and a stronger self of self esteem and self confidence.  Self respect and confidence are vital to every child's development.

Often the bond between mother and her young son can be so strong that it is hard for either one to let go.  There has to be a balance in the relationship where healthy development is allowed.  The Mother is required to know when to let go, to balance the dynamic between supporting and stepping back.  Clinging too tightly at some point will create a power struggle if Mom  does not have clarity around the emotional development best suited for  her son. If Mom makes it all about her need to control, her need to be the most important person in his life, the need to keep him close, there will be a power struggle.

Up to the age of 11-12 your son will look to you for all his  physical, emotionally and spiritual needs.  Shockingly, this can seem to change over night.  As he enters school and sports he will have an inner drive to be independent, to try to find his own way, his own rhythm.  He will not look to you for everything anymore.  If you are not ready for this change you may try to resist it.  This is where the power struggle comes in.  There will be a day when he will seem embarrassed to have you around, to let anyone know he has a good relationship with you.  He may push you away or shut down around you.  This can be alarming for a young mother  and if you are not prepared you may try to stop him from trying to fly.
A Conscious Hockey Mother has a higher awareness of her responsibilities at every stage of development. When a Mother is aware, she does a better job!

The Conscious Hockey Mother's program will provide you with guidance and direction in achieving a perfect balance with your son and allowing a greater rapport and relationship throughout his teen years.
I look forward to sharing this valuable information with you.


Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Warning: Generation Y Mothers Only

Welcome Mother's - this article is about the new generation "Y" child.  This is a child born between 1977-1998.  There are more generation 'Y' kids then there are baby boomers. This the most child centric time in history. There will be a new model of society as a result of this new child centric time and the technology that drives it.  This time is being called a "Cambrian Explosion" where there is more change in regards to our society values and ways of living than ever before in history.  The old style hockey won't work for the new kid on the block.  Just like the old style of making a living isn't going to work. 

This generation is unique in that it is based on a technology era never before seen or experienced in history. Technology drives their existence.  Computers, smart phones, i-phones, i-pads, games, social media all influences their every day lives.  As a result of this technology era they have specific clearly unique tendencies.  They are communicating on line as never before... texting, Facebooking, Twittering, blogging, all ways of expressing themselves with out have to actually make a connection.   They have become somewhat disconnected and there can be a sense of or illusion of a different world then the one that actually exists for them when they step out.  There has been a huge void in the development process around communication due to the technology they are used to using.  They are so brave and so confident on line and yet when you meet them in person they are often unable to communicate, to speak confidently, to express themselves.  

The hockey arena has been changing as we all see and understand however there is going to be a 'Cambrian Explosion' there as well. You will see more technology than ever before being used to help coach and to help develop the young hockey players.  There will be more use of video taping, more new and innovative ways of teaching the new generation of hockey players.  There will be a new hockey society as a result.

Statistics are shocking - 28 million kids quit organized sports every year due to the old style not keeping up with the new kid.  They have expectations and if the system doesn't keep up the system will lose them.  They will move on if the environment is not positive, reinforcing, technology based, and moving forward at the speed that they are.  If they are not treated in a positive way they will check out emotionally and shut down.  If parents, coaches and their organizations don't  keep up, they will lose the new kids on the block.

So Mom, how do you keep an open line of communication with our young athlete when he has more distractions than ever before?  Join our The Conscious Hockey Mothers program and learn how to keep the line open and positive!